Why are these people in my way??

This story is not one that many people, if any know all the details of.   It is meant to show you that you never know how far your little act of kindness will go and how it will change someone's life forever.

     So, while I was in high school, I was babysitting for a family that I normally sat for.  They were nice enough people... 3 kids, big house, and the gig paid well.  You know, for a high school kid, that 40 bucks extra cash... that's awesome... extra money for whatever.  Well, during one such babysitting job, the new neighbor came over to get her child from playing with the kids I was watching.  This lady from Columbia, MO.  She was different than anyone I had ever met.  She caught Shannon and me off guard.  She asked if we would babysit for her. I didn't know this lady!! Why was she even asking me this?  What makes her think I'm even in the market to take on a new family to babysit?  She must be crazy.  Well, I took the job... but only if Shannon came with me.  Little did I know that God was putting that beautiful, crazy, sweet, and loving woman in my way on purpose.

     Now, let's fast forward, high school graduate, married AND divorced... living on my own... determined to make it... new job... all new changes... and BROKE.  When I say broke... I put the "poo" in "poor".  That is not an exaggeration at ALL!  I went from a job making $9.21 an hour...getting paid every two weeks to a new job that paid soo much better but it was once a month, and I started in the middle of the month... So I went 6 weeks without a paycheck... on my last check which was $437 and I used that overdraft like it was free money.  Thank goodness that someone I worked with previously had an apartment that they let me live in for free if I would watch after the house while they were gone travelling the world.  Take out my $150 car payment a month...(keep in mind I would be giving up $300 in car payment before I would ever see a dime from my new job).  My cell phone bill.  Gas for my car.  (oh yeah and I lived now 15 miles from work... so I had to borrow money from my dad once to get to work to get a check) Helping my friend who has a baby with a deadbeat dad get by with stuff for her baby.  So all that to say, there were times when I didn't eat for a week because I was out of spam and the pot of gold at the end of my ramen rainbow had just been emptied.    Now, back to my friend... this sweet woman who I call my Jewish mom.   If you don't have one, you are missing out.  Seriously!  This is the lady that I thought was crazy the first time I met her.  She didn't know me or if I was good at babysitting, but she hired me.  She HAD to be crazy!  haha!  Anyway, she always used to call and check on me.  See how things were going and make sure I was still alive, you know.  I remember one day in particular she called to see how I was doing... it was a Wednesday.  I hadn't eaten in about 3 days... (Don't worry, had lots of water... it was free.)  When I answered she said, "Hey, how are you!?"  I said, "oh, I'm fine.  Just don't feel too good."  Then she told me that if I would come over, she would have some matzaball soup ready for me.  It was Jewish penicillin after all.   It would cure whatever was wrong with me.  Well, I knew what was wrong with me... I hadn't eaten. haha!  But I would never tell her that.  I was embarrassed and ashamed that I needed help.  Anyway, I went over there and ate.  And she gave me the left overs so I could eat more if I didn't feel better right away.  Little did she know that I was able to eat for 4 days because of that soup.  And then she called and asked if I could house sit for them and she would make sure I got paid well.  Now keep in mind, this wasn't the only time this woman and her family helped me out.  One point before I married my second husband, they had a house they were remodeling and wanted someone to stay in so the stuff they bought to put in didn't get stolen.  So they let me live there for free.  If they hadn't done that, I would have been living in my car because my mom was struggling and I wasn't about to put my burdens on her.  She raised me to fight through and win.  Without this family and their ability to bless me and help me even when they had NO idea what was going on, I wouldn't be where I am today or have the things I have or the understanding of people who are struggling and the tender heart to help when I don't know what's going on.  God heard me and he put them in my way to help take care of me.

So I tell you that story so that the next time you feel that tug on your heart to do something for someone, you never know how much that little something can change the whole course of that person's life.  You might be the one person who can help them get over that struggle and succeed.

-Make sure you pay it forward when you can if someone has helped you get to where you have the ability to pay it forward.

{lou}

And NOW they tell me that there is no manual.

So, I'm going through my facebook, like I often do, and stumble across an invaluable post.  Now, the person who posted it I'm sure wasn't thinking, "Yep... Laura... She needs this."  But I'm so glad that they found it important enough to share because I'm learning that there is no guide to step-parenting... or parenting in general.  How did my mom do it alone?!  So the article is here.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-macy-stafford/the-important-thing-about-yelling_b_4484027.html  Go Ahead, I'll wait while you read it.

Now, I don't have any kids of my own... I have Graylee... my dog.  That's my child.  But I was blessed enough to find a husband (super dad) that had two BEAUTIFUL children that he handpicked me to help raise.  WOW.  If that isn't an ego boost, I'm not sure where you will ever find one.  So, I start out the fun mom.  The mom that doesn't get frustrated, sad, or aggravated.  That's good, right?  Well, then I start in on trying to fix everything.  Even things that aren't broken in my family.  Trying to be a perfectionist when I know, there's no reason.  I guess because I want to be super mom.  I want to be the mom that my kids deserve, need, and want.  I want to be the one that fixes boo-boos and one good night kiss will never do.  So I put PILE insane loads of pressure on myself to be perfect, because after all, who can love me if I'm not perfect.  (Wow... what a way to think.)  I forget that the memories I'm missing by getting angry and upset that everything's a mess or I've now had to repeat myself 30 times are far more important and precious than the 30 seconds of being the EVIL STEP MONSTER.  I struggle with finding enough patience to get through some days.  And that was a tough sentence to be honest and write.

I see my husband so carefree and able to handle any situation with NO STRESS and calmly get everything under control... EVEN ME, and I'm jealous.  I get more mad at myself for not being more patient and calm and collected.  But then again, I say that he's been doing this since the kids were babies and has earned the patience.  I think that's just to make myself feel better because that man I married is a saint.  HONESTLY.

My kids are beautiful.  INSIDE and OUT.  I'm being the most sincere person when I say that.  I love them to depths which I never knew existed and I love them as if I carried them in my womb for 9 months.  They are everything to me, like my husband is.  They are sweet and considerate.  But they also have quite the knack for sarcasm.  haha!  I like to give that credit to my husband, but I'm just as much to blame.  They are kids; they get tired; they get grouchy; they just wanna hang out sometimes.  All things I do.  But it seems easier for me to get upset with them than to realize they are just like us.  This is all very hard for me to admit but I struggle.  A LOT.  With a lot of things.  So I tell you all this to say that I'm making a promise to God, all who might read this, and most importantly my kids.

I promise to spend less time yelling and more time laughing.
I promise to put my phone down and play games more often.
I promise to put myself in your shoes before I think I need to be perfect.
I promise we can clean up that mess together and make it fun.
I promise to be the momma who kisses your boo-boos and one good night kiss is NEVER enough.
I promise to show you love through the way I love your daddy and honor him.
I promise to use sarcasm less and use sweet words more.
I promise you that I will love you to the ends of the earth.
I promise to provide you with a home you will never want to leave.
I promise to give you so many kisses and hugs that you will be sick of them.
I promise to be slow to anger and quick for hugs.

Now, I ask one thing in return... patience for letting me get all these promises in line.  I can change and do this, but need help.  But I promise I won't be afraid to ask for it.

Please friends, go hug your babies and honeys tight and let them know that you will always be there... even in  your grouchy moods.

{lou}