So there are those of you who know the story behind Grandpa Goldfish... this is my mother's daddy... basically the man who helped raise me... who took me to get stitches two of the three times I've gotten them. The man that was my "daddy" too. The one who had a temper like 1,000 sailors but the loving gentle soul like that of a handmade quilt. The one man that I could count on growing up. He would never let me down. The father I never had... The one I could go to for advice or the bitter truth. The man I saw cry only once in my lifetime because his hard life wouldn't allow for him to shed a tear. A man that went to war and fought for our freedoms and had a tank roll over on him. Tough as Nails... but has the biggest heart anyone can imagine.Okay, you have to understand that my grandfather was born in 1923 and didn't get passed the 3rd grade in school. The great depression hit them hard and he worked to take care of his siblings and his family. He's a hardworking man. I don't know the exact story of how he met my grandmother, but I do know that it was a whirlwind romance. They fell in love so hard. They used to sneak out, he said, and go "neck it" on the corner of two corn fields in South Dakota. My gramma is 9 years younger than him, WHAT A SCANDAL! haha! Anyway, they've been married for around 465 years now, honestly, I think it's approaching 60 years... and love each other more than ever before. They've been through things that would have caused people in this day and age to get divorced. They had two beautiful daughters and now have 5 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren. My grandfather wakes up every day now and fights to remember where he is. He's in the earlier stages of Alzheimer's... and let me tell you... that's the meanest disease that was ever put on this earth. We started calling him Grandpa Goldfish when he was in the early stages of dementia because, for example, he would get a birthday card, open it, read it, show my gramma, put it back in the envelope, stare around the room for a minute, see he had a birthday card, open it, read it, show it to my gramma... well, you get the picture. He would repeat this until Gramma would take it away because it was a surprise to him every time he would open it... a memory like a .... GOLDFISH! :) Two times ago when my brother went to visit, we realized it was getting worse... his memory was fleeting. He didn't recognize my brother... After my brother left his visit with my grandparents, my grampa looked at gramma and said, "Who was that nice boy that came to visit us?" BROKE. MY. HEART. I went to visit a few weeks ago and he called my Tiny... that's my mom's nickname... that's how much of his current memory he has lost. He thinks my mom is 28 again. He called my mom Mavis - who is her cousin. But I have to keep reminding myself that it's not his memory of us at this point, it's ours of him.
So, all that to get to the most important part of this story... This man, this wonderfully forgetful, fleeting memory staple to our family... Last April, my mom, gramma, grampa and I went to South Dakota (where my family is from) to attend the funeral of my grampa's sister in law. He didn't recognize her by the way. But the sweetest thing I will always keep with me is how much he truly loves my grandmother... On our way back, I was driving the car and he looked at me (like he remembered me) and said "Toaty, do you know what the best part about having grandkids is?" I said, "No, grampa but please tell me so I'll know when I get to have some." He said, "The absolute BEST part about having grandkids is they get to drive their gramma and grampa around so they can hold hands." And he grabbed my gramma's hand and kissed her knuckles. While his memory is fading at a rapid pace, he always knows how much he loves every second with my gramma. Every day he tells her that he can't believe he got the best looking girl in all the world and that she loves him. He tells her that she's more beautiful today than she was when he first laid eyes on her. I truly believe that nothing will ever erase that memory for him of how much he truly loves that woman. And she stays faithfully by his side, health and mind going, unwavering from the man that she couldn't imagine life without.
So I tell you that to prove that NOTHING CAN DEFEAT TRUE LOVE... Not even Alzheimer's.
P.S. It's never too late or too early to tell the ones you care about, exactly how you feel for them... but even better than telling them... SHOW THEM!
I'm going to kiss my honey and cuddle our babies now.
